Lizzy Borden Gets the Ax

Yep, in my list of villains for Villainology, Lizzy Borden was axed. She axed for it! Okay, enough Schwartzeneggerisms! Here's what I wrote about dear ol' Lizzy:




Lizzy Borden: Maybe you’ve heard the skipping rhyme that made her famous forever: Lizzie Borden took an ax/And gave her mother forty whacks/When she saw what she had done/She gave her father forty-one. It’s based on the story of Lizzie Borden, who lived in Fall River, Massachusetts. In 1892 Lizzie found her father and stepmother hacked to death with an ax. Lizzie was put on trial for the murders (the most dramatic part was when her parents’ skulls were unveiled for all the court to see, and Lizzie fainted). She was acquitted by the all male jury and she and her sister split the inheritance. No one ever proved that she had done it. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, the rhyme is wrong, her stepmother got 19 whacks and her father 10. Silly Rhyme! Oddly enough an opera called Lizzie Borden was written about her. Funny how all this violence makes people want to sing.


The book has shorter sketches of villains and also "featured" villains (who get a few pages of text). Originally I thought Lizzy would be the perfect villain to be featured, but the more I read about her story the harder it was to make it funny. I mean did she really do it? And, if so, how do you make chopping your parents up into pieces funny? So she was relegated to a short sketch and later was axed altogether (there's that word again). That was one of the difficulties I encountered in the writing of this book--how do you make evil funny. It was suggested at one point that I could do a piece about Hitler. He's a villain (uh, I hope you agree). But he's not funny (okay maybe Charlie Chaplin could make him funny).
Yet, I was able to make Attila the Hun funny and he was certainly in the same category as Hitler. It partly has to do with time passing and old wounds being healed over. Plus Attila wore a funny hat.

Speaking of villains, I watched the Some Kind of Monster documentary about Metallica.
Ah, I'm kidding about the villains bit, of course. I've been a fan since Ride the Lightning hit the record shelves back in 1984. Although, didn't like much after the "black" album (St. Anger is starting to grow on me). The documentary is painful to watch because of the massive clash of giant egos and the goal of getting an album done. And in the middle of it all is a performance coach/therapist (who only makes $40,000 a month) who is working them through their angst and anger. It's amazing that these guys have everything (moneywise) and yet still want to go through the pain of creating a recording together and making it as perfect as possible. I highly recommend the documentary, even if you don't like their music. It's a real testament to how the creative process can drive you (to drink, sometimes, according to the documentary).

Ride the lightning, everyone!

Art

Bilbo's Birthday!

Well its Bilbo's birthday, today! Or at least today was the day that The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien was released back in 1937. My Grade Four teacher, Mr. Fitzgerald read the book to us. That was the first I ever heard of it. And sadly, I had to miss a week of school and was incredibly disappointed that I wouldn't get to hear that part of the book. Where was I going? What could be more important than The Hobbit? Oh, we were going to Disneyland. I still remember being on the plane thinking, "I wonder what's happening in The Hobbit, right now." Of course that book led me to Lloyd Alexander's The Book of Three and, well, to many more books. Thanks Tolkien!

Here are a few books I recently finished:
Skybreaker by Kenneth Oppel. This was the second time I read it. Probably my favourite Oppel book. The perfect followup to Airborn.
The Great Stink by Clare Clark. A murder mystery novel for adults set (mostly) in the sewers of Victorian London. Very well done. You'll never, ever get the description of the sewers out of your head.
His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman. I'd already read the books, but listened to the audiobooks. They're excellent. I'm still disappointed by the third book, but overall one of the strongest fantasy series I've read. I'm excited about the movies because I want to see what they do with the material.

Art

Villainology Podcast

My first podcast for Villainology is up! It's an interview with The Headless Horseman. Just click here: http://www.villainology.com/villainology/interviews/headlessh.mp3

It should play on your computer without much prompting. It will also be available on iTunes soon.

Art

Names, Names, Names

Where do names come from? What do they mean? And more importantly how does a name affect your destiny? I was listening to CBC Radio on Saturday and they have a lovely show about the English Language called
And Sometimes Y. The topic this week was Name Games, and one of the specialist on the show spoke about how names affect who you become. For instance someone named Sasha might be more likely to go into the arts, or be a more gentle soul than say, someone named Viper. Or someone named Arthur may become an artist (or a writer). Obviously all sorts of factors contribute to the building of our characters, but your name is something that "points" to you. That's how they described what a name does.

Anyway it got me to thinking about how we authors name our characters. In Dust I called the evil rainmaker, Abram Harsich. I chose Abram because it's a biblical name, Harsich because it had a "Har(d)" sound and by adding "sich" it sounded kind of Eastern European. I wanted the name to "point" to the fact that Abram had been around for a long, long time. In my current project one of the evil characters is Miss Hakkadottir. Scary, eh? The good guy is Modo. I sometimes spend ages searching out names for my characters. Other times they appear out of the blue. Anyway, it's one of the (many) fun parts of this whole writing craft. Who else gets to name so many people?

Art

Oh, and on another note found another nice review of Megiddo's Shadow at Relish Now. "Edward Bathe’s journey from teen to young man is a three-tissue read." That's good, right? I hope I get some kind of royalty from the tissue company!

Villainology has Arrived!

Ah, yesterday in the post the brand new copy of Villainology arrived. Woo Hoo. I'm impressed by Derek Mah's artwork once again. And the invisible man on the cover is soooo cool. Really.



There it is on my desk next to a cup of hot chocolate and cuddling up to a copy of Monsterology. I'm very pleased with how the book turned out, as you can probably tell. And it's officially my eleventh published book. Yay, for lucky number eleven!

Here's the table of contents:

1. The Wicked Witch of the West
2. Attila the Hun
3. The Wolf
4. Billy The Kid
5. The Headless Horseman
6. Morgan Le Faye
7. Qin Hui
8. Shakespearian Villains
9. The Invisible Man
10. Emperor Nero
11. The Queen (from Little Snow White)
12. Scarface Capone
13. Scrooge
14. Phantom of the Opera
15. Mephistopheles



Cheers!


Art

Alas, Poor Sweeney, I knew him well...

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A Nice Review for Megiddo

Well, a nice review for Megiddo's Shadow from Ventura Country Star. I'm always happy to see a good review. It's a real pick-me-up first thing in the morning (although it's evening as I write this, I'm a slow blogger). It's always an odd feeling to think that my book is being read so far away (Ventura is in California, I'm in Saskatchewan, Canada). My books have a more exciting life than I do.

Which is fine. I'm just here to write them.

The real trick of this writing biz is to not read the bad reviews first thing in the morning, tho. That's a buzz kill!

Art

More Villains on the Cutting Room Floor

Ah, the scythe of the editor's mind. Oh, and that whole page limitation thing. Here's another villain who ended up on the cutting room floor.



Svengali: a hypnotist who stars in George Du Maurier's 1894 novel, Trilby. Ok, it’s a boring title, but it’s all about Svengali, a crappy musician who hypnotized Trilby (a girl) and turns her into a famous singer. He lives in luxury off of her concert performances. Then in the middle of a show Svengali has a heart attack and dies. Tribly wakes up, with no memory of being able to sing. The audience shouts at her and she has a nervous attack and dies later that night. Can’t anyone write a happy ending anymore?



Alas, goodbye Svengali.


Oh, hey speaking of Villains who are in the book, here's a body part from one. Can you guess who?



And it's not Scarface.


Have a gleefully villainous day!


Art

Monsterology is scarier than Poutine!

Just received the French version of Monsterology, published by Bayard. Look's great, eh?


Interesting that it becomes Monstrologie! I like it. And boy, it's ten times funnier in French. Here's an example:

L'ogre
Occupations: Etre gros et manger.
Il deteste: Se cogner la tete, Jacques, tomber de haut, quand les nuages sont bas.



Ha! Etre gros et manger! Etre gros et manger! If that doesn't tickle your funny bone I don't now what will. French really is the language of love. Uh, and laughter. Grosse Le Laughter!*

Monsterology's World Conquest is just beginning.

Adios, uh, I mean, Au revoir,

Art




*this is where I admit I did take French up to Grade Twelve but it was taught to me by a woman with a Scottish accent. "Ach, Monsieur Slade, you make the French sound like 3 day old haggis." Very sad. I was almost cultured once.

Villains--on the cutting floor!

Well, nigh over a month until Villainology comes out. Oct. 9th is "V" day!
Sadly not every piece of purple prose I wrote will be appearing in the book. Apparently they have page lengths to these things! Yes, I was as surprised as you. Which does make one wonder, are editors ruthless villains? Or are they ruthless taskmasters? (uh, this doesn't apply to any editor who's bought me lunch)

So here's a section on "Other Victorian Villains" that was left on the floor...

Other Victorian Era Villains:
The Victorian Era was the years in England when Queen Victoria ruled (1837-1901). Everyone was stodgy back then, practicing their stiff upper lips and drinking tea. Oh, and they also worked on their villainy. And not just in England.

Jack the Ripper: Ah, good ol’ Jack the Ripper. Back in 1888 he scared London and all the surrounding Brits by attacking and killing several women. He then wrote a letter to the paper, calling himself Jack the Ripper. Newspapers wrote story after story about him. Where is he? Who is he? When will he strike again? It sold a lot of newspapers. And later on books and then movies. No one ever found out who Jack the Ripper was. That’s not funny. In fact, that’s a little scary.

Tune in for more Villains from the cutting floor...someday...soon.

Art